I think the final straw of “we’re being ridiculous to make up for the fact that we can’t write music” is the cover of The Final Countdown here. And when they’re not being bland, they start being cringeworthy to try and make up for it. Yes, the rating here has certainly been lowered due to the horrible singing and bad covers and the fact that this has zero of the energy encased in power metal due to an empty shell production (the sole reason I sometimes enjoy power metal), but none of the original songs even have a shred of decency to them, they’re just so incredibly bland.
Replace the ‘fake’ guitars and bass with real ones and you’ve got a generic power metal album that I would likely give the same rating to. But here, on Dawn of the Brave, I can’t say the same at all.
The melodies were great, the progressions were great, it would still be great music if it were done on guitars with a hurdy-gurdy in place of the bass. In my review of Ballads 'n' Bullets, I talked about how that was what made In Legend such a fantastic band, because underneath all the PIANO METAL, it was actually great music. I’m not talking about the rakkatakkas or the bum bom bum bom or the breeedooms, I’m talking about the melodies and the songwriting, the core of this music. But I guess all this could be forgive, if the music here was actually good. Bands are allowed to have fun, and I shouldn’t laugh at them or feel embarrassed for them because they do. And yes, cue hordes of fans saying “you’re taking it too seriously!!11!”, and they would be right. I honestly would put “Steel Breaker” down as one of the few tracks that have physically made me ill out of how embarrassed I feel for the band. Even worse is “Steel Breaker”, one of the most uncomfortable and cringeworthy songs I have ever heard, mostly due to the rhythm guitars’ “BREEEE DOOM A NOM NOM NOM” that comes during the intro and chorus, combined with the general tough-guy 80’s hair metal styled lead vocals. I’m sure some people would chuckle at it, or enjoy it realising that the band had lots of fun making it (which I don’t deny), but when I hear it, I want to crawl up in a cocoon and die of embarrassment. I mean, “Badaboom” (named after what the rhythm guitars are singing) is a completely laughable song, ridiculous in every way. This is not music to be taken seriously, and the band knows that and makes their music in a bit of a joke-ish way to make sure no one does. And yes, I know that Van Canto’s music is hardly to be taken seriously, but In Legend do the same style of hilarity with their ‘palm muted’ octave power chords, but at least some of the tracks on that record have soul, I’m not just laughing at themīut I completely realise that I’m barking up the wrong tree in a way – Van Canto are a joke band and they make that incredibly clear.
VAN CANTO DAWN OF THE BRAVE DOWNLOAD CRACK
The way they intercut the ‘tense’ intro track with “bum bum bum bumabum bum” just makes me crack up.
Some of the sounds they sing to imitate guitars are just fucking hilarious, and there’s literally no way I could ever take any of it seriously. There’s obviously going to be some bias, because you can be proficient at piano and it will sound great, yet try being proficient at imitating rhythm guitar with vocals and you’ll get laughed out of the room. But I honestly can’t say the same about Dawn of the Brave.īut let’s compare these two bands, because I really think that In Legend have made one of the best ‘novelty’ records I’ve ever heard, and yet this is a pretty embarrassing affair. Ballads 'n' Bullets certainly did, and In Legend proved that it wasn’t just the ‘piano metal’ factor that made them stand out, they were legitimately talented songwriters, and the songs on that album were legitimately good. But the reason I came here wasn’t because of the novelty factor, it was more because I actually thought that Dawn of the Brave might house some decent music. You see, In Legend are a ‘piano metal’ band, replacing all guitars and bass with piano, whereas Van Canto do their ‘a cappella metal’ shtick, with the weird vocals and dumb ‘soloing’.
I found Van Canto through In Legend, a band who they have been closely involved with, even collaborating on one track, and a band who share the same novelty appeal that Van Canto have. This is the first Van Canto album I have heard, and it’s likely to be the last.
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